Have you seen my cock?
The priest of a small hamlet was very fond of the ten chickens and a rooster, he kept in a hen house behind the parish manse. One Saturday night, the rooster was missing. Suspecting that cock fights were common in the village, he decided to say something about it at church the next morning.
The priest of a small hamlet was very fond of the ten chickens and a rooster, he kept in a hen house behind the parish manse. One Saturday night, the rooster was missing. Suspecting that cock fights were common in the village, he decided to say something about it at church the next morning.
At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anyone got a cock?"
All the men stood up.
"No, no," he said. "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"
All the women stood up.
"No, no," he said. "That wasn't what I meant, either. Has anyone seen a
cock that doesn't belong to them?"
Half the women stood up.
"No, no," he said. "Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anybody
here seen my cock?"
All the choir boys stood up.
Witty Farmer
A farmer was pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.
The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?"
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said-"Well yeah, if that's what they are - I never heard of circle flies".
So the farmer says-"Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, "Hey...wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horses ass?"
The farmer says, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horses ass."
The trooper says, "Well, that's a good thing, "and goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer says, "Hard to fool them flies though."
A farmer was pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.
The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?"
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said-"Well yeah, if that's what they are - I never heard of circle flies".
So the farmer says-"Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, "Hey...wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horses ass?"
The farmer says, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horses ass."
The trooper says, "Well, that's a good thing, "and goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer says, "Hard to fool them flies though."
Notti Quotes
"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody
wants to die." Joe Louis
"To err is human but to
really foul things up requires a computer." Anonymous
"Gossip is
when you hear something you like about someone you don't." Earl Wilson
"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come
to yours." Yogi Berra
"We are not retreating - we are advancing in another
direction." General Douglas MacArthur
"Smile well and often,
it makes people wonder what you've been up to." Satchel Paige
Washing Labels (Part 2)
Actually it is quite true. Most people don't bother to understand how to properly clean their clothings...
Washing Labels (Part 1)
This is a clothing label from a small American company that is selling their products in France.
The translation of the French part of the label reads:"We are sorry that Our President is an idiot. We did not vote for him."
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