PISCES - The Partner for Life
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Messy at times and irresponsible! Smart but lazy. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. Lover of animals. VERY caring, make wonderful nurses or doctors. They alway try to do the right thing sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes et used by others and hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to other but need to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be.
ARIES - The Aggressive
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be "Right". Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world.
TAURUS - The Tramp
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight.Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self centered and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth!
GEMINI - The Twin
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good at confusing people... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Gemini's will not take any crap from anyone. emini's like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Gemini's can be very sarcastic and childish at times, and are very nosey. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.
CANCER - The Beauty
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer's Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative, most's are artists and insane respectfully speaking. Extremely random. An Ultimate Freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compare. Spontaneous. Not a Fighter, But will kick your ass good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to!
LEO - The Lion
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy, but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A leo's problem becomes everyone's problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.
VIRGO - The One that Waits
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. The do not forgive and never forget.
LIBRA - The Lame One
Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with... you might end up crying... Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Kinda dumb at times.
SCORPIO - The Addict
EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Unpredictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party and do so to the extreme at times. Loves the smell and feel of money (honestly who doesn't?) and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. (I think there's some truth here). Romantic. Caring.
SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones will all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed..!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.
CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy. But when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs especially Gemini's in sports. Likes to cook but would rather go out to eat at good restaurants.Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.
AQUARIUS - Does It In The Water
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind, loves being in long-term relationships. Can be clumbsy at times but tries hard. Will take on any project. Proud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy, and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when their not sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Loves their pets usually more then their familiy. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out.
Zodiac
Here's a run down of the Zodiac for the upcoming year. Got this somewhere and the English is terrible. Thought of editing it but I just can't find the time to do so.
Famous Quote
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for
him, we'd be watching television by
candlelight.
Milton Berle
When you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
Flattery
Hmmm... I suppose those in top management would not like to see this poster around the office.
Inspirational Quotes
Man can climb to the highest summits, but he cannot dwell there long.
— George Bernard Shaw
In youth and beauty wisdom is rare.
— Homer
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
— Leonardo Da Vinci
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want — an adorable pancreas?
— Jean Kerr
Most saints live to regret their career choice.
— Bob Stokes
Many a promising career has been wrecked by marrying the wrong sort of woman.
— Robertson Davies
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
— Fran Lebowitz
Instead of thinking about where you are, think about where you want to be. It takes twenty years of hard work to become an overnight success.
— Diana Rankin
If money is your hope for independence, you will never have it. The only real security that a man can have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
— Henry Ford
— George Bernard Shaw
In youth and beauty wisdom is rare.
— Homer
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
— Leonardo Da Vinci
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want — an adorable pancreas?
— Jean Kerr
Most saints live to regret their career choice.
— Bob Stokes
Many a promising career has been wrecked by marrying the wrong sort of woman.
— Robertson Davies
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
— Fran Lebowitz
Instead of thinking about where you are, think about where you want to be. It takes twenty years of hard work to become an overnight success.
— Diana Rankin
If money is your hope for independence, you will never have it. The only real security that a man can have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
— Henry Ford
Welcome to Hell
One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with a demon:
Demon: Why so glum, chum?
Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell.
Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Demon: Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do: drink. Whiskeys, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab....we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more.
Guy: Gee, that sounds great.
Demon: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it.
Demon: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our friggin' lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay... you're already dead.
Guy: Golly!
Demon: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Demon: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it. We even opened up a pai gow poker table.
Guy: Gosh, I never played pai gow before...
Demon: Well now you can. You like to do drugs?
Guy: Yes, I love to do drugs. You don't mean...
Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a blunt the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's okay...you're already dead.
Guy: Neat! I never realized that hell was such a swingin' place!
Demon: You gay? And likes to take demon dick up your ass?
Guy: Uh, no.
Demon: Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays...
Demon: Why so glum, chum?
Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell.
Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Demon: Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do: drink. Whiskeys, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab....we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more.
Guy: Gee, that sounds great.
Demon: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it.
Demon: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our friggin' lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay... you're already dead.
Guy: Golly!
Demon: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Demon: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it. We even opened up a pai gow poker table.
Guy: Gosh, I never played pai gow before...
Demon: Well now you can. You like to do drugs?
Guy: Yes, I love to do drugs. You don't mean...
Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a blunt the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's okay...you're already dead.
Guy: Neat! I never realized that hell was such a swingin' place!
Demon: You gay? And likes to take demon dick up your ass?
Guy: Uh, no.
Demon: Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays...
Bunny and Snake
Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. A surprising coincidence was that both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.
"Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth; so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."
"It's quite okay," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither over you, and figure out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you."
"Oh, that would be wonderful," replied the bunny.
So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny."
"Oh, thank you! Thank you," cried the bunny in obvious excitement.
The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you with my paw, and help you the same way you've helped me." So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're scaly and slimy, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say you must be either a politician, an attorney, or possibly a member of upper management."
Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. A surprising coincidence was that both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.
"Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth; so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."
"It's quite okay," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither over you, and figure out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you."
"Oh, that would be wonderful," replied the bunny.
So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny."
"Oh, thank you! Thank you," cried the bunny in obvious excitement.
The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you with my paw, and help you the same way you've helped me." So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're scaly and slimy, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say you must be either a politician, an attorney, or possibly a member of upper management."
An Old Farmer's Advice
- Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong
- Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance
- Life is simpler when you plow around the stump
- A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor
- Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled
- Meanness don't jes' happen overnight
- Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads
- Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you
- It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge
- You cannot unsay a cruel word
- Every path has a few puddles
- When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty
- The best sermons are lived, not preached
- Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway
- Don't judge folks by their relatives
- Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer
- Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time
- Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none
- Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance
- If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'
- Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got
- The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'
- Always drink upstream from the herd
- Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment
- Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in
- If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around
- Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God
Have you seen my cock?
The priest of a small hamlet was very fond of the ten chickens and a rooster, he kept in a hen house behind the parish manse. One Saturday night, the rooster was missing. Suspecting that cock fights were common in the village, he decided to say something about it at church the next morning.
The priest of a small hamlet was very fond of the ten chickens and a rooster, he kept in a hen house behind the parish manse. One Saturday night, the rooster was missing. Suspecting that cock fights were common in the village, he decided to say something about it at church the next morning.
At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anyone got a cock?"
All the men stood up.
"No, no," he said. "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"
All the women stood up.
"No, no," he said. "That wasn't what I meant, either. Has anyone seen a
cock that doesn't belong to them?"
Half the women stood up.
"No, no," he said. "Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anybody
here seen my cock?"
All the choir boys stood up.
Witty Farmer
A farmer was pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.
The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?"
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said-"Well yeah, if that's what they are - I never heard of circle flies".
So the farmer says-"Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, "Hey...wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horses ass?"
The farmer says, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horses ass."
The trooper says, "Well, that's a good thing, "and goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer says, "Hard to fool them flies though."
A farmer was pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.
The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?"
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said-"Well yeah, if that's what they are - I never heard of circle flies".
So the farmer says-"Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, "Hey...wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horses ass?"
The farmer says, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horses ass."
The trooper says, "Well, that's a good thing, "and goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer says, "Hard to fool them flies though."
Notti Quotes
"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody
wants to die." Joe Louis
"To err is human but to
really foul things up requires a computer." Anonymous
"Gossip is
when you hear something you like about someone you don't." Earl Wilson
"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come
to yours." Yogi Berra
"We are not retreating - we are advancing in another
direction." General Douglas MacArthur
"Smile well and often,
it makes people wonder what you've been up to." Satchel Paige
Washing Labels (Part 2)
Actually it is quite true. Most people don't bother to understand how to properly clean their clothings...
Washing Labels (Part 1)
This is a clothing label from a small American company that is selling their products in France.
The translation of the French part of the label reads:"We are sorry that Our President is an idiot. We did not vote for him."
Unwritten
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Taken from 'Unwritten' by Natasha Beddingfield
Interesting Take on Life
Hunger can kill - especially if you are dead.
Rehabs are for Quitters!
Remember: there are 3 types of people in the world... those who can count, and those who can't.
(Unknown Sources)
Lessons in Life
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
Sir Winston Churchill
"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well."
Josh Billings
"Angels fly because they take themselves lightly."
C. K. Chesterton
"Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand."
Mark Twain
"Passionate kiss, like spider web, soon lead to undoing of the fly."
Stan
"A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic."
Joseph Stalin
"The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have."
Woddy Allen
"The place to be happy is here, the time to be happy is now."
Robert Ingersoll
Sir Winston Churchill
"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well."
Josh Billings
"Angels fly because they take themselves lightly."
C. K. Chesterton
"Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand."
Mark Twain
"Passionate kiss, like spider web, soon lead to undoing of the fly."
Stan
"A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic."
Joseph Stalin
"The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have."
Woddy Allen
"The place to be happy is here, the time to be happy is now."
Robert Ingersoll
Luck or Effort
Shallow men believe in luck, believe in circumstances – it was somebody's name, or he happened to be there at the time, or it was so then, and another day would have been otherwise.
Strong men believe in cause and effect.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Amazing Bible Insights
Kids from a catholic elementary school test were asked questions about the old and new testaments. The following hilarious statements were the answers written by the children:
1. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis. God got tired of creating the world so he took the Sabbath off.
2. Adam and eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears.
3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.
5. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like Delilah.
6. Samson slayed the philistines with the axe of the apostles.
7. Moses led the Jews to the red sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to mount cyanide to get the Ten Commandments.
9. The first commandments was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
11. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
12. The greatest miricle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
13. David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.
14. Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
15. When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found Jesus in the manager.
17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
19. Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to you. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.
20. It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
22. The epistels were the wives of the apostles.
23. One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
24. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony which is another name for marraige.
25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
Author Unknown
Life...according to Charlie Brown
Life
is like an
ice-cream cone…
You have to lick it
one day at a time.
Brain Teaser
There are 20 people in an empty, square room. Each person has full sight of the entire room and everyone in it without turning his head or body, or moving in any way (other than the eyes). Where can you place an apple so that all but one person can see it?
... it has been months since i put this up. Wonder if anyone managed to solve this puzzle
... it has been months since i put this up. Wonder if anyone managed to solve this puzzle
Make a Life - Not just a living
I think many people are missing the point... life can be complicated and fragile. Many people became so busy making a living, they stop living their life! Sad!!!
A Mature Person...
- has the physical characteristics of an adult
- controls his emotions when necessary or learns to channel them to avoid harm to himself and others
- is tolerant
- has learnt to face reality and to accept the truth about himself and his circumstances
- assumes responsibilities whenever there is a need
Tolkien's Insights
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
J. R. R. Tolkien
(The Lord of the Rings)
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The Christian Alphabet Poem
A lthough things are not perfect,
B ecause of trial or pain.
C ontinue in thanksgiving,
D o not begin to blame.
E ven when the times are hard.
F ierce winds are bound to blow,
G od is forever able,
H old on to what you know.
I magine life without His love,
J oy would cease to be.
K eep thanking Him for all the things,
L ove imparts to thee.
M ove out of "Camp Complaining",
N o weapon that is known.
O n earth can yield the power,
P raise can do alone.
Q uit looking at the future,
R edeem the time at hand.
S tart every day with worship,
T o "thank" is a command.
U ntil we see Him coming,
V ictorious in the sky.
W e'll run the race with gratitude,
X alting God most high.
Y es, there will be good times and yes some will be bad, but....
Z ion waits in glory .. where none is ever sad! Too blessed to be
stressed!
B ecause of trial or pain.
C ontinue in thanksgiving,
D o not begin to blame.
E ven when the times are hard.
F ierce winds are bound to blow,
G od is forever able,
H old on to what you know.
I magine life without His love,
J oy would cease to be.
K eep thanking Him for all the things,
L ove imparts to thee.
M ove out of "Camp Complaining",
N o weapon that is known.
O n earth can yield the power,
P raise can do alone.
Q uit looking at the future,
R edeem the time at hand.
S tart every day with worship,
T o "thank" is a command.
U ntil we see Him coming,
V ictorious in the sky.
W e'll run the race with gratitude,
X alting God most high.
Y es, there will be good times and yes some will be bad, but....
Z ion waits in glory .. where none is ever sad! Too blessed to be
stressed!
The Holy Bible
This is not just a 'book'. This is God's word. His word is his bond. You are what He says you are. You can do what He says you can do. And you can have what He says you can have.
When you get to the point in life where you believe God's word just like you do the words of a doctor, a lawyer, or your best friend, then you'll never struggle with your faith again.
Kenneth Copeland
Promise Yourself
- To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
- To look at the sunny side of everyting and make your optimisim come true.
- To forge the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
- To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
- To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and expect only the best.
- To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
Strength of a Man
The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders.
It's seen in the width of his arms that encircle and protect you.
The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice.
It is in the gentle words he whispers.
The strength of a man isn't in the words he speaks.
It's in how he keeps his word.
The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has.
It's how good a buddy he is with his or "your" children.
The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work.
It's in how he is respected at home.
The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits.
It's in how tender he touches.
The strength of a man isn't in the hair on his chest.
It's in his heart....that lies within his chest.
The strength of a man isn't in how many partner he's loved.
It's in whether he can be true to the ONE person he's trying to love.
The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift.
It's in the burdens he can carry.
The strength of a man isn't in how much food he eats from your table.
It's in the effort he puts forth when you are unable.
It's seen in the width of his arms that encircle and protect you.
The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice.
It is in the gentle words he whispers.
The strength of a man isn't in the words he speaks.
It's in how he keeps his word.
The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has.
It's how good a buddy he is with his or "your" children.
The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work.
It's in how he is respected at home.
The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits.
It's in how tender he touches.
The strength of a man isn't in the hair on his chest.
It's in his heart....that lies within his chest.
The strength of a man isn't in how many partner he's loved.
It's in whether he can be true to the ONE person he's trying to love.
The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift.
It's in the burdens he can carry.
The strength of a man isn't in how much food he eats from your table.
It's in the effort he puts forth when you are unable.
Religious Hypocrites
To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs, and arms, but the Devil slapped on the genitals
Don Schrader
George Carlin's Views on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That' s the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . .. . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime and it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares? But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That' s the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . .. . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime and it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares? But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!
God hath not promised
God hath not promised skies always blue,
Flower-strewn pathways all our lives thro',
God hath not promised sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.
God hath not promised we shall not know
Toil and temptations, trouble and woe;
He hath not told us we shall not bear,
Many a burden, many a care.
God hath not promised smooth roads and wide,
Swift, easy travel, needing no guide;
Never a mountain, rocky and steep,
Never a river turbid and deep.
But God hath promised strength for the day,
Rest for the labour, light for the way;
Grace for the trails, help from above,
Unfailing kindness, undying love.
Flower-strewn pathways all our lives thro',
God hath not promised sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.
God hath not promised we shall not know
Toil and temptations, trouble and woe;
He hath not told us we shall not bear,
Many a burden, many a care.
God hath not promised smooth roads and wide,
Swift, easy travel, needing no guide;
Never a mountain, rocky and steep,
Never a river turbid and deep.
But God hath promised strength for the day,
Rest for the labour, light for the way;
Grace for the trails, help from above,
Unfailing kindness, undying love.
Lessons From Noah's Ark...
Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big.
Don't listen to critics -- do what has to be done.
Build on high ground.
For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
Two heads are better than one.
Speed isn't always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails.
If you can't fight or flee -- float!
Don't forget that we're all in the same boat.
Remember that the ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic was built by professionals.
Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm outside.
Don't miss the boat.
No matter how bleak it looks, if God is with you, there's always a rainbow on the other side.
Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big.
Don't listen to critics -- do what has to be done.
Build on high ground.
For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
Two heads are better than one.
Speed isn't always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails.
If you can't fight or flee -- float!
Don't forget that we're all in the same boat.
Remember that the ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic was built by professionals.
Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm outside.
Don't miss the boat.
No matter how bleak it looks, if God is with you, there's always a rainbow on the other side.
Prayer
Everytime the battle wages
Deep within your soul
And the Enemy tries
deceitfully
To distract you from your goal,
Remember the good
Shepherd
Not only fights for you,
But celebrates your victories
Before
they are even through.- Anon
Meaning of the CROSS
C hrist, God-in-flesh, give His life (Philippians 2:8) as a
R ansom, a payment, for our sins (Matthew 20:28),
O ffering up His life as a sinless sacrifice (Hebrews 10:14),
S uffering unto death (Hebrews 12:2) to secure our
S alvation from sin and death (Colossians 2:13-14).
R ansom, a payment, for our sins (Matthew 20:28),
O ffering up His life as a sinless sacrifice (Hebrews 10:14),
S uffering unto death (Hebrews 12:2) to secure our
S alvation from sin and death (Colossians 2:13-14).
Life...
Life isn't about keeping score.
It's not about how many friends you have
Or how accepted you are.
Not about if you have plans this weekend or if you're alone.
It isn't about who you're dating, who you used to date, how many people you've dated, or if you haven't been with anyone at all.
It isn't about who you have kissed,
It's not about sex.
It isn't about who your family is or how much money they have
Or what kind of car you drive.
Or where you are sent to school.
It's not about how beautiful or ugly you are.
Or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on, or what kind of music you listen to.
It's not about if your hair is blonde, red, black, or brown
Or if your skin is too light or too dark.
Not about what grades you get, how smart you are, how smart everybody else thinks you are, or how smart standardized tests say you are.
It's not about what clubs you're in or how good you are at "your" sport.
It's not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper and seeing who will "accept the written you."
LIFE JUST ISN'T.
But, life is about who you love and who you hurt.
It's about who you make happy or unhappy purposefully.
It's about keeping or betraying trust.
It's about friendship, used as a sanctity or a weapon.
It's about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening.
About starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip.
It's about what judgments you pass and why.
And who your judgments are spread to.
It's about who you've ignored with full control and intention.
It's about jealousy, fear, ignorance, and revenge.
It's about carrying inner hate and love, letting it grow, and spreading it.
But most of all, it's about using your life to touch or poison other people's hearts in such a way that could have never occurred alone.
Only you choose the way those hearts are affected, and those choices are what life's all about.
- Anon
It's not about how many friends you have
Or how accepted you are.
Not about if you have plans this weekend or if you're alone.
It isn't about who you're dating, who you used to date, how many people you've dated, or if you haven't been with anyone at all.
It isn't about who you have kissed,
It's not about sex.
It isn't about who your family is or how much money they have
Or what kind of car you drive.
Or where you are sent to school.
It's not about how beautiful or ugly you are.
Or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on, or what kind of music you listen to.
It's not about if your hair is blonde, red, black, or brown
Or if your skin is too light or too dark.
Not about what grades you get, how smart you are, how smart everybody else thinks you are, or how smart standardized tests say you are.
It's not about what clubs you're in or how good you are at "your" sport.
It's not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper and seeing who will "accept the written you."
LIFE JUST ISN'T.
But, life is about who you love and who you hurt.
It's about who you make happy or unhappy purposefully.
It's about keeping or betraying trust.
It's about friendship, used as a sanctity or a weapon.
It's about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening.
About starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip.
It's about what judgments you pass and why.
And who your judgments are spread to.
It's about who you've ignored with full control and intention.
It's about jealousy, fear, ignorance, and revenge.
It's about carrying inner hate and love, letting it grow, and spreading it.
But most of all, it's about using your life to touch or poison other people's hearts in such a way that could have never occurred alone.
Only you choose the way those hearts are affected, and those choices are what life's all about.
- Anon
Christian Checklist
Pray
It is the greatest power on earth
Love
It is a God-given priviledge
Read
It is the fountain of wisdom
Think
It is the source of power
Be friendly
It is the road to happiness
Give
It is too short a day to be selfish
Laugh
It is the music to the soul
Save
It is the secret to security
It is the greatest power on earth
Love
It is a God-given priviledge
Read
It is the fountain of wisdom
Think
It is the source of power
Be friendly
It is the road to happiness
Give
It is too short a day to be selfish
Laugh
It is the music to the soul
Save
It is the secret to security
Interesting History Insights
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
Corrupted Nursery Rhymes
JACK AND JILL
Went up the hill
To have a little fun
Stupid Jill
Forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread.
LITTLE MISS MUFFET sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It had not been the spider that crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.
SIMPLE SIMON met a Pieman
Going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pieman unto Simon
"Pies, you idiot!"
THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL, who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead...
And when she was good, she was very very good
But when she was bad she got a fur coat, jewels, a sports car......
HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall
humpty dumpty had a great fall
all the kings horses and all the kings men
had scrambled eggs on toast for breakfast.
HICKORY DICKORY DOCK,
Three mice ran up the clock
the clock struck one,
and the others got away with minor injuries.
HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE,
the cat did a piddle,
all over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun
when the cat died of electric shock.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB,
It walked into a pylon,
10,000 volts went up it's arse,
And turned it's wool to nylon.
GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
Went up the hill
To have a little fun
Stupid Jill
Forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread.
LITTLE MISS MUFFET sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It had not been the spider that crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.
SIMPLE SIMON met a Pieman
Going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pieman unto Simon
"Pies, you idiot!"
THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL, who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead...
And when she was good, she was very very good
But when she was bad she got a fur coat, jewels, a sports car......
HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall
humpty dumpty had a great fall
all the kings horses and all the kings men
had scrambled eggs on toast for breakfast.
HICKORY DICKORY DOCK,
Three mice ran up the clock
the clock struck one,
and the others got away with minor injuries.
HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE,
the cat did a piddle,
all over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun
when the cat died of electric shock.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB,
It walked into a pylon,
10,000 volts went up it's arse,
And turned it's wool to nylon.
GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
I've Learned...
I've learned -that it takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned -that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.
I've learned -that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.
I've learned -that no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned -that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The
rest is up to them.
I've learned -that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I've learned -that we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.
I've learned -that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a
secret.
It could change your life forever.
I've learned -that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
I've learned -that it's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned -that you can get by on
charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better know something.
I've learned -that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can
do but to the best you can do.
I've learned -that it's not what
happens to people that's important.
It's what they do about it.
I've learned -that no matter how thin you slice it,
there are always two sides.
I've learned -that it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.
I've learned -that it's a lot easier
to react than it is to think.
I've learned -that you should always leave loved ones with
loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned -that you can keep going
long after you think you can't.
I've learned -that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.
I've learned -that either you control your attitude
or it controls you.
I've learned -that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship
is at first,
the passion fades and there had better besomething else to take
its place.
I've learned -that heroes are the peoplewho do what has to be
done
when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I've learned -that learning to forgive takes practice.
I've learned -that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned -that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I've learned -that my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned -that sometimes the people you expect
to kick you when you're down
will be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned -that sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned -that just because someone doesn't love you
the way you want them to doesn't mean
they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned -that maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many birthdays
you've celebrated.
I've learned -that you should never tell a child
their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.
Few things are more
humiliating, andwhat a tragedy it would be
if they believed it.
I've learned -that your family won't always
be there for you. It may seem
funny,but people you aren't related to
can take care of you and love you
and teach you to trust people again.
Families aren't biological.
I've learned -that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you
every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned -that it isn't always enoughto be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learnto forgive yourself.
I've learned -that our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned -that sometimes when my
friends fight,
I'm forced to choose sides
even when I don't want to.
I've learned -that just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean
they don't love each other
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned -that sometimes you have to put
the individual ahead of their actions.
I've learned -that no matter how you
try to protect
your children, they will eventually get hurt
and you will hurt in the process.
I've learned -that there are many ways of falling
and staying in love.
I've learned -that no matter the consequences,
those who are honest with themselves
get farther in life.
I've learned -that no matter how many friends you have
,if you are their pillar you will feel lonely
and lost at the times you need them most.
I've learned -that your life can be changed
in a matter of hours by people
who don't even know you.
I've learned -that even when you think you
have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.
I've learned -that writing, as well as talking,
can ease emotional pains.
I've learned -that the paradigm we live in
is not all that is offered to us.
I've learned -that credentials on
the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I've learned -that
the people you care most about in life
are taken from you too soon.
I've learned -that although the word "love"can have many different
meanings,
it loses value when overly used.
I've learned -that it's
hard to determine
where to draw the line
between being nice and
not hurting people's feelings
and standing up for what you believe.
Anon.
Interesting and meaningful thoughts
- To handle yourself use your head; to handle others use your heart.
- Because life is short it's wise to make it broad.
- Anger is only one letter short of danger.
- No matter how thin you slice it there are always two sides.
- If someone betrays you once, it's his fault; if he betrays you twice, it's your fault.
- Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
- God gives every bird it's food but he does not throw it into it's nest.
- Modern paintings are like women; you will never enjoy them if you try to understand them.
- Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough tomake them all yourself.
- The tongue weighs practically nothing but so few people can hold it.
- Beautiful young people are accidents of nature; but beautiful old people are works of art.
He who loses money loses much; he who loses a friend loses more;
he who loses faith loses all.
There are four stages to man:
- when he believes in Santa Claus
- when he does not believe in Santa Claus
- when he is Santa Claus
- when he looks like Santa Claus
- Anon
Be Thankful
Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary
Because it means you've made a difference.
It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.
GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings.
- Anon
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary
Because it means you've made a difference.
It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.
GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings.
- Anon
Past, Present, Future
Cherish the past
It made you what you are
Treasure the present
It is a timeless gift
Pray for the future
It’s where hopes are fulfilled and dreams becomes a reality
It made you what you are
Treasure the present
It is a timeless gift
Pray for the future
It’s where hopes are fulfilled and dreams becomes a reality
Moment by moment
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.
Judge Others Not
I found this inspiring sermon by Jorg Dietzel from the Free Community Church website (delivered on 27 February 2005). The following points is extracted from an earlier sermon by Matthew P.G. “How to Judge - Part One" (preached on Sept 7, 1997).
1. We must speak the truth in Love. A lot depends on how we speak to the person. Many people use truth like a wet cloth which they slap into the other person’s face. Instead, they should offer them the truth like a comfortable, warming coat, that they can slip into.
2. We must remember that we are sinners ourselves. There is no room for self-righteousness. Remember, no one is righteous, not one.
3. We must investigate. We may have only heard one side of the story. The other one MAY BE RIGHT. Experience is always subjective – the more accounts we have to rely on, the better the picture we get.
4. Judge yourself first. Is there a log in our own eye that we are overlooking because we are searching for the splinter in our brother’s eye? Do we have a clean conscience? Would someone else be better at addressing this?
5. Judgment must be according to the truth – therefore, we must study the scripture and try to understand it in its intended meaning and context.
6. We must pray. We are never judging based on our own morality. We are pointing out a shortfall as we understand it based on God’s law. We need the Lord’s blessing for the conversation we are planning, his guidance and leadership.
7. We must examine our own motives. Are we trying to help the person? Are we concerned they are hurting or hurting themselves or others? Do we have their wellbeing in mind and do we want to give them a chance to change? Or do we find a welcome opportunity to bring them down, drive them out of the church, expose them in front of others. What are our motives?
8. We must be patient. People don’t change. Well, they may, but it’s very hard. People don’t change overnight. It’s a struggle, often against old habits and convictions, ingrain over many years. Temptation will come, and opportunity. Our friend will fall, time and again. Slide back into their old ways. We must be patient.
9. We must act in a way to bring a person to sound faith. Our action, our intervention, should never crush their faith. They must not feel judged, condemned, alienated, thrown out. Very easily frustration over the words of a fellow Christian grows into frustration with God. Our aim should be to lend a loving and helping hand. Our aim should be that at the end of the day our brother or sister is happier, more content, more themselves as they were intended to be, stronger in their faith.
A Stupid Secretary
Heard about the secretary that got fired last week?
Apparently, she filed all documents under 'D'
Funny Church Bulletins
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church.
Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an Ice Cream Social.
All ladies giving milk please come early.
Wednesday, the Ladies Literary Society will meet.
Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put Me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the Pastor.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the Altar.
The service will close with "Little Drops of Water".
One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet.
All those wishing to do something on the carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Oct. 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in school days.
This week's saints include a French woman (Teresa, the Little Flower), a Swedish woman (Bridget), an Italian man (Francis of Assisi), a German man (Bruno), a Jewess from the Holy Land (Mary, God's Mother). They include single people and married people. Bridget was a wife and mother. Mary was a virgin and virgin mother. If they could do it, so can we.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.
Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers will please meet with the minister in the study.
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
Today - Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality Course, 1 p.m.-8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.
The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, "The Lord Knows Why."
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say, "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: "GOD IS GOOD. Dr. Hargreaves is better."
Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David A. Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
Announcement in the church bulletin for a National Prayer & Fasting Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer conference includes meals."
Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation."
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale, It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
The sermons this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermontonight: "Searching for Jesus."
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
SOURCE: http://www.religioustolerance.org/ch_bull.htm
Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an Ice Cream Social.
All ladies giving milk please come early.
Wednesday, the Ladies Literary Society will meet.
Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put Me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the Pastor.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the Altar.
The service will close with "Little Drops of Water".
One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet.
All those wishing to do something on the carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Oct. 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in school days.
This week's saints include a French woman (Teresa, the Little Flower), a Swedish woman (Bridget), an Italian man (Francis of Assisi), a German man (Bruno), a Jewess from the Holy Land (Mary, God's Mother). They include single people and married people. Bridget was a wife and mother. Mary was a virgin and virgin mother. If they could do it, so can we.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.
Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers will please meet with the minister in the study.
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
Today - Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality Course, 1 p.m.-8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.
The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, "The Lord Knows Why."
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say, "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: "GOD IS GOOD. Dr. Hargreaves is better."
Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David A. Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
Announcement in the church bulletin for a National Prayer & Fasting Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer conference includes meals."
Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation."
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale, It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
The sermons this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermontonight: "Searching for Jesus."
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
SOURCE: http://www.religioustolerance.org/ch_bull.htm
Dumb Blond Lawyer
A woman walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I hurt all over."
The doctor says, "That's impossible!"
She explains, "When I touch my arm, ouch, it hurts.
When I touch my leg, ouch, it hurts.
When I touch my head, ouch, it hurts.
When I touch my chest, ouch, it hurts."
The doctor just shakes his head and asks, "You are a lawyer, aren't you?"
The woman is shocked but smiles and says, "Why, yes I am. How can you tell?"
The doctor replies, "Because your finger is broken."
The doctor says, "That's impossible!"
She explains, "When I touch my arm, ouch, it hurts.
When I touch my leg, ouch, it hurts.
When I touch my head, ouch, it hurts.
When I touch my chest, ouch, it hurts."
The doctor just shakes his head and asks, "You are a lawyer, aren't you?"
The woman is shocked but smiles and says, "Why, yes I am. How can you tell?"
The doctor replies, "Because your finger is broken."
A Dieter's Prayer
Dear Lord, help me to stick to this diet no matter how much I am tempted to cheat. Grant me the strength to refuse second helpings, the patience to count calories, and the courage to step on the scales. May the refrigerator contain nothing fattening in the middle of the night when my will is weak and my hunger strong. And lead me not into the temptation of chocolate. Bless me with good health and a healthy outlook to take this diet one step at a time. I ask Your help in all these things so that I can become the person I know You meant me to be. Amen!
Jill Wolf
Personally i dun believe in dieting - where you restrict your food and count calories. I think wat's important is that we make wise food choices and exercise regualarly.
Jill Wolf
Personally i dun believe in dieting - where you restrict your food and count calories. I think wat's important is that we make wise food choices and exercise regualarly.
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