Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
TENGA Robot Sex
These Lean Mean Machines show us what the cups are trying to achieve:
Deep Throat cup, Soft Tube Cup, Rolling Head Cup, Double Hole Cup, Air Cushion Cup
Hollywood Squares Answers
These are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are now. These are from the old Hollywood Squares show in the 70's...
By Anonymous
Story submitted February 1, 2002
Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?
A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q: True or false...a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes...
Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he is married?
A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you"?
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q: What are "Do It", "I Can Help" and "Can't Get Enough"?
A: George Gobel: I don't know but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking?
A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question, Peter...and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!
Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing strawberries!
Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q: It is considered bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.
Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!
Q: Is it possible for the puppies in a litter to have more than one daddy? A: Paul Lynde: Why, that bitch!
Q: While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does that mean?
A: George Goebel: Cattle crossing.
Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body - what is it?
A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected!
Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?
A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.
Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie "What's The Matter With Helen?" Who plays Helen?
A: Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver - that's why they asked the question.
Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q: When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.
Q: James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. Now he says it was "one of the best things I ever did." What was it? A: Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming.
Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q: Imagine you are a child in your mother's womb, can you detect light?
A: Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice
By Anonymous
Story submitted February 1, 2002
Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?
A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q: True or false...a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes...
Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he is married?
A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you"?
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q: What are "Do It", "I Can Help" and "Can't Get Enough"?
A: George Gobel: I don't know but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking?
A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question, Peter...and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!
Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing strawberries!
Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q: It is considered bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.
Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!
Q: Is it possible for the puppies in a litter to have more than one daddy? A: Paul Lynde: Why, that bitch!
Q: While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does that mean?
A: George Goebel: Cattle crossing.
Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body - what is it?
A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected!
Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?
A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.
Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie "What's The Matter With Helen?" Who plays Helen?
A: Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver - that's why they asked the question.
Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q: When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.
Q: James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. Now he says it was "one of the best things I ever did." What was it? A: Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming.
Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q: Imagine you are a child in your mother's womb, can you detect light?
A: Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice
Notti Quotes
"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody
wants to die." Joe Louis
"To err is human but to
really foul things up requires a computer." Anonymous
"Gossip is
when you hear something you like about someone you don't." Earl Wilson
"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come
to yours." Yogi Berra
"We are not retreating - we are advancing in another
direction." General Douglas MacArthur
"Smile well and often,
it makes people wonder what you've been up to." Satchel Paige
Washing Labels (Part 2)
Actually it is quite true. Most people don't bother to understand how to properly clean their clothings...
Washing Labels (Part 1)
This is a clothing label from a small American company that is selling their products in France.
The translation of the French part of the label reads:"We are sorry that Our President is an idiot. We did not vote for him."
Interesting Take on Life
Hunger can kill - especially if you are dead.
Rehabs are for Quitters!
Remember: there are 3 types of people in the world... those who can count, and those who can't.
(Unknown Sources)
Amazing Bible Insights
Kids from a catholic elementary school test were asked questions about the old and new testaments. The following hilarious statements were the answers written by the children:
1. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis. God got tired of creating the world so he took the Sabbath off.
2. Adam and eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears.
3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.
5. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like Delilah.
6. Samson slayed the philistines with the axe of the apostles.
7. Moses led the Jews to the red sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to mount cyanide to get the Ten Commandments.
9. The first commandments was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
11. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
12. The greatest miricle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
13. David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.
14. Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
15. When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found Jesus in the manager.
17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
19. Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to you. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.
20. It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
22. The epistels were the wives of the apostles.
23. One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
24. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony which is another name for marraige.
25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
Author Unknown
Lessons From Noah's Ark...
Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big.
Don't listen to critics -- do what has to be done.
Build on high ground.
For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
Two heads are better than one.
Speed isn't always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails.
If you can't fight or flee -- float!
Don't forget that we're all in the same boat.
Remember that the ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic was built by professionals.
Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm outside.
Don't miss the boat.
No matter how bleak it looks, if God is with you, there's always a rainbow on the other side.
Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big.
Don't listen to critics -- do what has to be done.
Build on high ground.
For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
Two heads are better than one.
Speed isn't always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails.
If you can't fight or flee -- float!
Don't forget that we're all in the same boat.
Remember that the ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic was built by professionals.
Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm outside.
Don't miss the boat.
No matter how bleak it looks, if God is with you, there's always a rainbow on the other side.
Corrupted Nursery Rhymes
JACK AND JILL
Went up the hill
To have a little fun
Stupid Jill
Forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread.
LITTLE MISS MUFFET sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It had not been the spider that crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.
SIMPLE SIMON met a Pieman
Going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pieman unto Simon
"Pies, you idiot!"
THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL, who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead...
And when she was good, she was very very good
But when she was bad she got a fur coat, jewels, a sports car......
HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall
humpty dumpty had a great fall
all the kings horses and all the kings men
had scrambled eggs on toast for breakfast.
HICKORY DICKORY DOCK,
Three mice ran up the clock
the clock struck one,
and the others got away with minor injuries.
HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE,
the cat did a piddle,
all over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun
when the cat died of electric shock.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB,
It walked into a pylon,
10,000 volts went up it's arse,
And turned it's wool to nylon.
GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
Went up the hill
To have a little fun
Stupid Jill
Forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread.
LITTLE MISS MUFFET sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It had not been the spider that crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.
SIMPLE SIMON met a Pieman
Going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pieman unto Simon
"Pies, you idiot!"
THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL, who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead...
And when she was good, she was very very good
But when she was bad she got a fur coat, jewels, a sports car......
HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall
humpty dumpty had a great fall
all the kings horses and all the kings men
had scrambled eggs on toast for breakfast.
HICKORY DICKORY DOCK,
Three mice ran up the clock
the clock struck one,
and the others got away with minor injuries.
HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE,
the cat did a piddle,
all over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun
when the cat died of electric shock.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB,
It walked into a pylon,
10,000 volts went up it's arse,
And turned it's wool to nylon.
GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
A Stupid Secretary
Heard about the secretary that got fired last week?
Apparently, she filed all documents under 'D'
Funny Church Bulletins
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church.
Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an Ice Cream Social.
All ladies giving milk please come early.
Wednesday, the Ladies Literary Society will meet.
Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put Me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the Pastor.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the Altar.
The service will close with "Little Drops of Water".
One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet.
All those wishing to do something on the carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Oct. 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in school days.
This week's saints include a French woman (Teresa, the Little Flower), a Swedish woman (Bridget), an Italian man (Francis of Assisi), a German man (Bruno), a Jewess from the Holy Land (Mary, God's Mother). They include single people and married people. Bridget was a wife and mother. Mary was a virgin and virgin mother. If they could do it, so can we.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.
Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers will please meet with the minister in the study.
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
Today - Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality Course, 1 p.m.-8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.
The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, "The Lord Knows Why."
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say, "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: "GOD IS GOOD. Dr. Hargreaves is better."
Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David A. Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
Announcement in the church bulletin for a National Prayer & Fasting Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer conference includes meals."
Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation."
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale, It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
The sermons this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermontonight: "Searching for Jesus."
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
SOURCE: http://www.religioustolerance.org/ch_bull.htm
Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an Ice Cream Social.
All ladies giving milk please come early.
Wednesday, the Ladies Literary Society will meet.
Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put Me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the Pastor.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the Altar.
The service will close with "Little Drops of Water".
One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet.
All those wishing to do something on the carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Oct. 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in school days.
This week's saints include a French woman (Teresa, the Little Flower), a Swedish woman (Bridget), an Italian man (Francis of Assisi), a German man (Bruno), a Jewess from the Holy Land (Mary, God's Mother). They include single people and married people. Bridget was a wife and mother. Mary was a virgin and virgin mother. If they could do it, so can we.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.
Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers will please meet with the minister in the study.
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
Today - Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality Course, 1 p.m.-8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.
The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, "The Lord Knows Why."
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say, "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: "GOD IS GOOD. Dr. Hargreaves is better."
Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David A. Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
Announcement in the church bulletin for a National Prayer & Fasting Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer conference includes meals."
Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation."
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale, It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
The sermons this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermontonight: "Searching for Jesus."
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
SOURCE: http://www.religioustolerance.org/ch_bull.htm
A Dieter's Prayer
Dear Lord, help me to stick to this diet no matter how much I am tempted to cheat. Grant me the strength to refuse second helpings, the patience to count calories, and the courage to step on the scales. May the refrigerator contain nothing fattening in the middle of the night when my will is weak and my hunger strong. And lead me not into the temptation of chocolate. Bless me with good health and a healthy outlook to take this diet one step at a time. I ask Your help in all these things so that I can become the person I know You meant me to be. Amen!
Jill Wolf
Personally i dun believe in dieting - where you restrict your food and count calories. I think wat's important is that we make wise food choices and exercise regualarly.
Jill Wolf
Personally i dun believe in dieting - where you restrict your food and count calories. I think wat's important is that we make wise food choices and exercise regualarly.
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