Hollywood Squares Answers

These are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are now. These are from the old Hollywood Squares show in the 70's...
By Anonymous
Story submitted February 1, 2002


Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?
A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q: True or false...a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes...


Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he is married?
A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you"?
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q: What are "Do It", "I Can Help" and "Can't Get Enough"?
A: George Gobel: I don't know but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking?
A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question, Peter...and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!

Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing strawberries!

Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q: It is considered bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.

Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!

Q: Is it possible for the puppies in a litter to have more than one daddy? A: Paul Lynde: Why, that bitch!

Q: While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does that mean?
A: George Goebel: Cattle crossing.

Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body - what is it?
A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected!

Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?
A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.

Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie "What's The Matter With Helen?" Who plays Helen?
A: Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver - that's why they asked the question.

Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q: When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.

Q: James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. Now he says it was "one of the best things I ever did." What was it? A: Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming.

Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q: Imagine you are a child in your mother's womb, can you detect light?
A: Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice

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The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Blood Type Food

Here's a quick run-down about what we should eat based on your blood type:

TYPE O:
People with O blood type thrives on intense physical exercise and animal protein. Unlike the other blood types, the O's muscle tissue are slightly acidic. They can metabolize meat efficiently because they have high stomach-acid levels. Type O Diet depends largely on the use of lean meats, poultry, and fish. Type O's don't find dairy products and grains quite as friendly as other blood types and therefore should severely restrict the use of all dairy products.
The leading weight gain factor for Type Os is the gluten found in wheat germ and whole wheat products, which interferes with insulin efficiency and slows down metabolic rate. Another factor that contribute to weight gain is certain beans and legumes (lentils and kidney beans) contain lectins that deposit in the muscle tissues making them less "charged" for physical activity. The third weight gain factor is due to the low levels of thyroid hormone or unstable thyroid functions - which also causes metabolic problems. Therefore it is recommended to consume food that increases hormone production (kelp, seafood, iodized salt) and avoid
vegetables from the Brassica family (cabbage, brussels sprouts, mustard green and cauliflower) which can inhibit the thyroid function. Instead consume more vegetables that are high in Vitamin K (which helps clotting). The nightshade vegetables can cause lectin deposit in the tissue surrounding the joints. Because of the high acidity stomach, Type Os should eat fruits of alkaline nature such as berries and plums.
Beneficial: Beef, Lam, Mutton, Veal, Venison, Cod, herring, Mackerel, Pumpkin seeds, Walnuts, Kale, Collard greens, Romaine lettuce, Broccoli, Spinach, Plums, Prunes, Figs, Artichoke, Chicory, Dandelion, Garlic, Horseradish, Leek, Okra, Onions, Parsley, Parsnips, Red Peppers, Sweet potatoes, Pumpkin, Seaweed, Turnips

Harmful: White and black peppers, Vinegar, Capers, Cinnamon, Cornstarch, Corn syrup, Nutmeg, Vanilla, Coconut, Oranges, Tangerines, Strawberries, Blackberries, Rhubarb, Melons, Cantaloupe, Honeydew, Avocado, Corn, Alfalfa sprouts, Shiitake mushrooms, Fermented olives, Cabbage, Brussels sprouts, Cauliflower, Mustard greens, Barracuda, Pickled herring, Catfish, Smoked salmon, Caviar, Octopus, Conch, Bacon, Ham, Goose, Pork


TYPE A:
Type A's are pre-disposed to weight-gain, heart disease, cancer, and diabetes. They flourish on fresh, pure, and organic vegetarian diets which have the ability to supercharge their immune system and potentially short-circuit the development of life-threatening diseases. Moreover, because of low stomach-acid content, it is particularly important for them to avoid meats altogether (as they will have a hard time digesting meat). To ensure the consumption of adequate protein, it is important for Type A's to indlude nuts and seeds in their diet. Type As also thrive on the vegetable proteins found in tofu, beans and legumes (with the exception of some beans which can cause a decrease in insulin production, which may cause obesity and diabetes). Dairy foods are also poorly digested by and can decrease metabolism and can only tolerate small amounts of fermented dairy products (such as yogurt, kefir, nonfat sour cream).Type A are also very sensitive to the lectins in potatoes, sweet potatoes, yams, cabbage, tomatoes and peppers as they a tendency to aggravate the stomach. Type A should eat more fruits that are alkaline and avoid mangoes, papaya and oranges.
Beneficial: Artichoke, Chicory, Greens (Dandelion, Swiss Chard), Horseradish, Leek, Romaine, Okra, Parsley, Alfalfa Sprouts, Tempeh, Tofu, Turnip, Peanuts, Pumpkin Seeds, Carp, Cod, Grouper, Mackerel, Monkfish, Pickerel, Red snapper, Rainbow trout, Salmon, Sardine, Sea trout, Silver perch, Snail, Whitefish, Yellow Perch, Berries (blackberries, blueberries, boysenberries, cranberries), Plums, Prunes, Figs

Harmful: Beef, Pork, Lamb, Veal, Venison, Duck, Goose, Anchovy, Barracuda, Beluga, Bluefish, Bluegill bass, Catfish, Caviar, Clam, Conch, Crab, Crayfish, Eel, Flounder, Frog, Gray sole, Haddock, Hake, Halibut, Herring, Lobster, Lox, Mussels, Octopus, Oysters, Scallop, Shad, Shrimp, Sold, Squid, Striped bass, Tilefish, Turtle, Brazil nuts, Cashews, Pistachios, English muffins, Bread (High-protein whole wheat, Multi-grain), Matzos, pumpernickel, Wheat bran muffins, Flour (white, whole wheat), Pasta (Semolina, spinach), Peppers, olives, Potatoes, Sweet potatoes, Yams, All kinds of cabbage, Tomatoes, Lima beans, Eggplant, Mushroom


TYPE B:
The sturdy and alert Type B's are usually able to resist heart disease and cancer but are more prone to immune-system disorders such as multiple sclerosis, lupus, and chronic fatigue syndrome. The biggest contributors of weight gains are corn, buckwheat, lentils, peanuts and sesame seeds. These foods have different lectin that affect the efficiency of the metabolic process, resulting in fatigue, fluid retention, and hypoglycemia. The gluten lectin in wheat germ and whole wheat products also adds to the problems cause by other metabolism-slowing foods.It is important for Type Bs to avoid chicken (which contains a Type B blood agglutinating lectin that will attack the bloodstream and potentially leading to strokes and some immune disorders). Type Bs thrive on a balanced and wholesome diet. While fish is helpful, they should avoid all shellfish (as they contain lectins that are extremely disruptive. Type B is the only blood type that can fully enjoy a variety of dairy foods. However, they must actively avoid food such as peanuts, sesame seeds and sunflower seeds (which are known to interfere with insulin production), wheat (reduces insulin efficiency), rye (which can damage the vascular system, causing blood disorders and potentially strokes). Corn and buckwheat they contribute to a sluggish metabolism and are the major causes of weight gain, insulin irregularity, fluid retention, and fatigue. Fruits and vegetables are generally well tolerated with the exception of tomatoes (which irritates the stomach lining).
Beneficial: Lamb, Mutton, Venison, Rabbit, Cod, Salmon, Flounder, Halibut, Sole, Trout, Cottage cheese, Farmer, Feta, Goat cheese and milk, Kefir, Mozzarella, Ricotta, Milk, Yogurt, Millet, Oatmeal (Bran, flour), Puffed Rice, Rice (bran, flour), Spelt, Green leafy vegetables, Pineapples, Bananas, Cranberries, Grapes, Papaya, Plums
Harmful: All Shellfish (crab, shrimp, lobster, mussels, oysters, crayfish, clam, etc), Anchovy, Barracuda, Beluga, Eel, Frog, Lox, Octopus, Sea bass, Snail, Striped bass, Turtle, Yellowtail, Cashews, Filberts, Pine, Pistachio, Peanuts, Pumpkin seeds, Sesame seeds, Sunflower seeds, Lentils, garbanzos, black-eyed peas, Beans (pintos, aduke, Azuki, Black), Barley malt sweeteners, Corn syrup, Cornstarch, Cinnamon, Amaranth, Barley, Kasha, Seven-grain, Wild rice, Couscous, Artichoke, Avocado, Corn, Olives, Pumpkin, Radishes, Sprouts, Tempeh, Tofu, Tomato