I found this inspiring sermon by Jorg Dietzel from the Free Community Church website (delivered on 27 February 2005). The following points is extracted from an earlier sermon by Matthew P.G. “How to Judge - Part One" (preached on Sept 7, 1997).
1. We must speak the truth in Love. A lot depends on how we speak to the person. Many people use truth like a wet cloth which they slap into the other person’s face. Instead, they should offer them the truth like a comfortable, warming coat, that they can slip into.
2. We must remember that we are sinners ourselves. There is no room for self-righteousness. Remember, no one is righteous, not one.
3. We must investigate. We may have only heard one side of the story. The other one MAY BE RIGHT. Experience is always subjective – the more accounts we have to rely on, the better the picture we get.
4. Judge yourself first. Is there a log in our own eye that we are overlooking because we are searching for the splinter in our brother’s eye? Do we have a clean conscience? Would someone else be better at addressing this?
5. Judgment must be according to the truth – therefore, we must study the scripture and try to understand it in its intended meaning and context.
6. We must pray. We are never judging based on our own morality. We are pointing out a shortfall as we understand it based on God’s law. We need the Lord’s blessing for the conversation we are planning, his guidance and leadership.
7. We must examine our own motives. Are we trying to help the person? Are we concerned they are hurting or hurting themselves or others? Do we have their wellbeing in mind and do we want to give them a chance to change? Or do we find a welcome opportunity to bring them down, drive them out of the church, expose them in front of others. What are our motives?
8. We must be patient. People don’t change. Well, they may, but it’s very hard. People don’t change overnight. It’s a struggle, often against old habits and convictions, ingrain over many years. Temptation will come, and opportunity. Our friend will fall, time and again. Slide back into their old ways. We must be patient.
9. We must act in a way to bring a person to sound faith. Our action, our intervention, should never crush their faith. They must not feel judged, condemned, alienated, thrown out. Very easily frustration over the words of a fellow Christian grows into frustration with God. Our aim should be to lend a loving and helping hand. Our aim should be that at the end of the day our brother or sister is happier, more content, more themselves as they were intended to be, stronger in their faith.
